(My) Summary
Basically, in my own words, the Artemis Fowl series is about a teen mastermind. In the first book, called.. Artemis Fowl… he starts out as 12 years old, and in the latest book, The Time Paradox, he’s 14. I think. Wait, lemme check. So, in the first book, Artemis finds out about the underground fairy existence and their world. He kidnaps one of them, coincidentally the first female police officer of the LEPrecon (Lower Elements Police Reconnaissance), Holly. So that goes well.
Then in the second book, The Artic Incident, Artemis and his bodyguard, Butler, team up with the fairies, instead of fighting them, to go to the Artic Circle to rescue his father, Artemis Fowl Sr.
The third book is called The Eternity Code*, and it’s about Artemis making one last dealing before he goes all goody-two-shoes. Like, regular (oh my god! Artemis regular?). Yeah, well. Artemis deals with Jon Spiro, this all famous rich dude guy, and tells him that he has this box that can do anything, like take any kind of CD, Video, DVD and whatever and play it. And it’s the ultimate computer. But he’s not selling it, he’s selling for keeping it off the market. And then Jon Spiro doesn’t like that and his bodyguard almost kills Butler, and stuff yada yada yada. Have fun reading that.
*I just realized that I’m not underlining the titles. Hmm… well, I don’t see any button for that here! Forgive me, my 7th Grade English teacher!
Next is the fourth book, the Opal Deception. It’s all about this Opal Koboi pixie girl, and how she’s actually power hungry, and stuff like that. I didn’t like how Root got killed, though. Oops! Forget that.
The Lost Colony is the 5th book, the worst, I think, in the whole series. I mean, it’s still good, but compared to the other genius books, it’s a pile of ash. This book kinda takes a different turn in the plot, talking about demons and whatnot, and how their island, Limbo, that’s locked in a time pocket is about to fall apart on account of the fading time spell. So then when random demons start to appear on Earth, Artemis Fowl, Section 8 of the LEP, and a newcomer, Minerva (also a teen mastermind) all are there to meet the demon. Huh. Seems so much better when I’m talking about it. 
The last book. The Time Paradox. My guyfriend, (FRIEND) says that he’s not particularly fond of it. I don’t entirely agree. I mean, it’s weird, but it’s still good. The Lost Colony is the one that gave me the creeps after finishing it. Artemis’s mother is dying from this weird fairy virus, and the only cure is in the brain fluid of a silky..sifaka… lemur. And it turns out that this species is extinct (how about that?), because Artemis killed the last one. Funny. So then it’s called The Time Paradox because Artemis and Holly have to go back in time and save the last one from the 10-year old Artemis Fowl. Then there’s this big mess about, if Artemis hadn’t tried to do this, then it never would have happened, and that’s why he didn’t remember and stuff like that. You understand, Reader, that I’m trying to confuse you on purpose?
So, this whole series is awesome, genius, breathtaking, whatever you like. Yeah, you can have whatever u likeee. (humming) Sorry. got.. carried away.. You realize that the whole time, Artemis and Holly and the other fairies get friendlier (Artemis and Holly a little too friendly in the Time Paradox, though it’s not my place to say), and Artemis becomes a… “better person”. Personally, I liked him better when he had a raisin for a heart. A lot of people die for about 2 hours, and then are alive again, and some parts are just plain weird (MULCH), but yeah. This is one awesome series. Read it or die.
Main Characters
Artemis Fowl- weirdly awesome teen mastermind. Runs a criminal empire.
Domovoi Butler- From the family of Butlers. Serves Artemis Fowl as a bodyguard.
Holly Short- First female Commander in the LEP. Becomes Artemis’s friend.
Julius (Commander) Root- short-tempered major. Underneath, he’s really a nice guy. Treated Holly like a daughter.
Mulch Diggums- Smelly tunnel-digging dwarf. He’s a kleptomaniac but manages to get out of jail numerous times because of help with Artemis Fowl.
Foaly- Tech master for the LEP. Invented all of the technology and gadgets. Oh yeah, he’s a centaur.
Angeline Fowl- Artemis’s blond-haired mother who is first in depression, then victim of a fairy disease.
Artemis Fowl Senior- Artemis’s dad, was kidnapped by the Russian Mafia, saved in the second book, used to believe in Money & Power, but now wants to be a regular family.
Opal Koboi- a stunningly beautiful megalomanic of a pixie. An evil genius, wants to take over the world, in the 2nd, 4th and 6th book, though the 4th book is more about Opal than the 2nd and 6th. Main antagonist of Artemis.
Minerva Paradizo- A french girl. HA! Are you kidding me? I almost for a second, when reading about her, thought she was smarter than Artemis Fowl!!! Maybe she could be his equal, if trained properly. And if she grew up a little more. Still. Make way for Ms. Paradizo! About her: She only shows up in The Lost Colony (5th Book), and that’s when she’s kind of… not really… the antagonist of Artemis Fowl. But the truth is that she’s not evil, just she was looking for the same thing as Artemis… and they knocked heads. I think Eoin was hinting about more of Minerva later on…
Hey, so that’s it for now. Some good places for gossip about new books and the movie, and just plain Artemis Fowl awesomeness are: artemisfowl.com, eoincolfer.com, and the always reliable wikipedia. Enjoy! 
3/17/09
HAha! I’m back! And this is just a message for people who actually follow my blog… (not many people *GLARE*) This is on the Artemis Fowl website too, but there’s a movie coming out! It’s not coming out for a long time, somewhere in… 2010? or 2011? Either way, not for a long time.. Also, I forgot to say that the 6th book, the Time Paradox, is not the last one. Eoin Colfer’s in the process of making another one! Or so we think… (we meaning my friend and me who are slightly obsessed with Artemis Fowl).
you forgot about juliet, butler’s sister (and a personal favorite even though she disappears after around the 3rd book). and there are some people from the LEP (fairy police), but i can’t remember names.
i recommend these books. i recommend anything that has me laughing maniacally (like a maniac), by the way.
Thanks a lot, Jaion, and I don’t mean it sarcastically.
A series that gets me laughing maniacally is Joan Bauer. Oops, you’re the one who introduced Joan Bauer to me! Well, to everybody else, READ HER BOOKS!
Hmm, very cognitive post.
Is this theme good unough for the Digg?
Nice post you got here. It would be great to read a bit more about this topic.
Cool post as for me. I’d like to read a bit more concerning that matter.
It is very interesting for me to read this post. Thanx for it. I like such themes and everything that is connected to this matter. I definitely want to read more soon.
Great book….for 14 years old (%